I love this place.
I love this little corner of my past, tucked away eternally to be referenced to, remembered by nobody but me.
I’m in my second year of university now, fulfilling the dreams my younger self set before me. I come back to this place more and more often. It always seemed like a colossal waste of time, but now it serves as a beautiful archive of my adolescent dreams, imagination. The most creative periods in my life coincide with some eras in this blog. I sometimes think, in fact, it’s this what I’ve been missing these past few years–a visual imagination, evidence of heroes, and illustrations whose omitted strokes I can imagine to be my own, instead of the relentless uncertainty of a crowd and the relentless unknowability of an academic author’s world. Art, or at least the sort of conventional in-group fandom art on tumblr…it’s hard to say if it has particularly powerful communicative power, especially in conjunction with all the other structures of this place, because it’s the scenery of where I grew up. It was ugly and hateful, but only because the world is ugly and hateful, especially towards those it treats most poorly–not surprising that such voices would be prominent in this ultra-democratic island. There are, obviously, a lot of things I realize in retrospect.
It makes me wonder about my habits now. I’m an adult now, albeit on easy mode, and a real actor in the world. I’m trying to figure out what the right configuration of my life should be, how I ought to structure my days and what form of good I should aspire towards. This is the major project now, what I put off until my life would begin and I would have any sort of information and position.
It’s good to have a record, to remember you were a person, and what kind of person you were. I’m conscious, self-conscious, about growing beyond, but I also don’t want to forget, and want to look back with clarity on how I understood things. And I want to reinterpret–indeed, am forced to. Either way, it’s always pleasant.
I want to leave a blessing for my future self. An incantation for good fortune, and sanctuary.
honestly tumblr ideological discourse is such a mess, like, a huge section of tumblr is young people being inundated with radical ideas that they’ve never been exposed to before with absolutely no context, and then they’re expected to immediately start pushing these ideas (even though they’re incapable of understanding them because they haven’t been given the framework with which to do so) and it just ends up in a mess of guilt-tripping and increasingly confused ideology
fwoom i’m gone
ハロウィン用で描いた浮世絵風(ukiyo-e style)、思いがけず沢山の方に気に入っていただき驚いたのなんのって、ありがとうございます。
そんな訳で他のキャラも描いてみました。
I’m so hyped for this game that it’s physically uncomfortable.
Fan Bingbing in ‘The Empress of China’ (2015).
“The magic involved here is unlike any I have seen.”
I can tell you and I are going to get along just like fire hoses.